Its January 2010

I am way behind in updating this lovely blog. I am completely flabbergasted that its been a month since Christmas. Work has been incredibly busy and stressful for me. So from the top...

...me: I'm really good. I tried a few Tae Kwan Do classes and settled on one that meets Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday nights. I play Volleyball on Wednesdays but I can go on T/Th. I'm the lowest belt/newest person but I really like how TKD feels. I watch the others and the control they have over their body, the breathing, the flexibility and the whole attitude is amazing. Great, great energy. So I'm going to not worry about how bad I am or how long it takes me to learn something. I'm just going to keep going. The people there are really nice too and maybe I'll stumble onto a bit of a social life. Who knows? Work is kind of the same way - good people, but I'm much busier there so not sure on the social life implications.

...Angie: She's been having a bit of a rough time because I've been busy. We're very close and always have been. When I'm busy and drained, I tend to get a little grumpier at home and less focused on her. The big challenge is that Angie doesn't talk so she can't come up to me and say "listen, I know you're busy but PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" Instead, if I walk by her and she's upset with me, she'll smack my leg. This month that I've been working, getting home late, playing volleyball late or at TKD class, I just haven't been here for her. I do make a point of greeting her - a touch on the shoulder, a hug, making eye contact but its a change she has to adjust to. They have noticed a change in her at the Day Program as well. They suggested medication right away which really annoys me. She's been in this Day Program off/on for years. But with turnover, I know her caretakers/group leaders always change. They contacted my mom and I gave my suggestions to mom but she wanted me to talk to them myself since I express myself a little more eloquently. The Day Program contact refused to talk to me about Angie unless my mom was with me because I wasn't her guardian.

Excuse my language but What The Fuck? I pick my sister up, I drop her off, everyone knows who I am and when you see us together its VERY clear how important I am to Angie. Not to mention, my mom talks about my relationship with Angie all the time and her caseworkers and county nurse talk to me as well. This 'fresh out of school' brat needs to grow up and be professional. If she's really 'worried' then she just needs mom to sign a release. But I don't think that is it. Back in September when John was in the hospital again, Angie missed her bus and I had to pick her up. It was a stressful time for all of us and them making that kind of mistake was ill-timed. It wouldn't have been that big a deal for me except I was a) at the hospital with John and he can't really be left alone and b) a week before, the day program threw a hissy fit and called Angie's caseworker because my mom wouldn't leave work to pick Angie up at 1pm in the afternoon because they thought she had contagious ringworm on her head. For clarification, she gets on the bus to go home at 2:30pm. Their response to my mom was incredibly rude, insensitive and implied she was somehow a bad parent. So lets just say, a very agitated Hollie walked into the two people's office who called the caseworker and asked if she should call the caseworker on them? I definitely was not calm but they are supposed to be professionals and be able to deal with it. However, I'm pretty sure that's why they don't want to 'meet with me without my mom' because last time I yelled at them. Again, I say, suck it up and do what's best for Angie.

Anyway, since the latest communication happened by email, I replied to my mom and this woman who has a really odd last name with the clarification that if I can take my sister to the doctor and have her treated, then I'm pretty sure there's room in the law for me to tell her how to deal with Angie's hitting. (I said it nicer and I forwarded my reply to Angie's caseworker.) Like I said above, you need to be aware of Angie because she doesn't know how to politely ask for attention. If she's agitated by something (someone making loud noises or in her face) she's going to act out. While this is uncomfortable and inconvenient, its also a sign that she knows she has a right to protect herself and express herself. Redirecting is hard to do but it can be done verbally. The best action is to be proactive. Greet her in a way that she knows you notice her. Don't just say "hi angie", touch her lightly on the shoulder or wave to her and make good eye contact so she knows you see her. If she is acting agitated, give her either extra attention or give her time alone. If she hits, give her a time out but remind her to be gentle - possibly demonstrate a 'soft touch' to get someone's attention.

Hopefully they will listen and now that work is settling in for me, I can do my part at home to keep her calmer at school. The system kind of sucks sometimes though.

and last but not least...

...John: He's feeling better, just like at Christmas. He's firmly settled into his new digs and is up to most of his old tricks. Obsessing about food, pulling hair and pinching. They move him when he acts out to show that he's done something inappropriate and then redirect him by turning on his music or turning on the tv (depending on where he acted out.) His diet is still pureed but if it keeps him from inhaling food and getting gross stuff in his lungs, then I guess its the best thing for him. He went to the dentist for sedation (or is going soon) and we should be able to get a hip xray. He had surgery on them 20 years ago and we have no real idea how they are doing. There's a possible glitch in his medical record though because it says he has MRSA. I thought he did at one time and told a nurse that but then the doctor told me he did NOT have MRSA. So Monday mom has to play with the medical records people and try to figure it out. I'm not sure they can test for it unless he's actual sick and can give a mucous sample.

Life sounds so interesting, huh? Well in our own little world it is. Family time is precious though I spend a decent chunk of my time alone writing or playing on the internet. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out my sister but that's not really work - its just very fascinating. She continues to delight and amaze me. John still continues to try my patience. I love him very much; however he's fragile in mind and body and it takes far more patience to reach him. Mom is doing her best as well. Glad she has all the paperwork for money and legal signatures. Someday that will be all mine and that day can definitely wait!

Laterz.