Random comments - Fathers day 2009

I'm not fond of this day. I never used to be but its worse since its after my birthday and after the anniversary of my dad's death. However, I do wish a very special Happy Father's day to my godfather Ross who intervened on my behalf so I could go to my Dad's funeral.

I'm sitting in our living room right now watching country music videos. Angie and John like the music and the action. When football season rolls around, John will watch that. For some reason the action on the screen really attracts him.

My sister is outside on one of the two swings. One is traditional 'swingset' but reinforced for her adult weight (and mine to be honest, I like to swing too!) and the other is on the deck and is just a two person seat. She's on that one. Not quite the same height to reach but closer so I can check on her more often.

That, along with someone elses comments on UpsNDowns, reminded me of how Angie used to wander when she was young. We live in the country so its not quite the same plus it was 20 years ago. But she would walk to the neighbors. It happened so often that we had to get a chain link fence in the backyard. Part of what made raising Angie and John so challenging was the fact that we were also trying to make a living on a dairy farm - Neither tasks are easy but when you add them together, it gets a little crazy. I remember Angie learning the route to walk around the barn with a binder twine in her hand and she would just do loops while we were milking.

John was not quite as active. He's had hip surgery to help 'straighten' his legs and add his mobility. But he was mobile enough to get into the refrigerator while we were in the barn. We finally got a strap to 'lock' the refrigerator. We'd be milking cows and every fifteen minutes running to the house to check on John. Sometimes dad would be home but usually it was mom and I in the barn, angie either in the barn with us or in the house, and john always in the house.

I suppose I don't always think about the constant stress we were all under to meet all these obligations. Baths and eating for ourselves, homework for me, teaching angie and john, bathroom breaks plus raising animals, keeping them healthy, milking and then social obligations.

That is one of the reasons this chance we all have to live again with each other is such a gift. Its a cosmic 'do-over'. Time for us to focus on our relationships with each other, time for our own self-improvement and time to just be together.