My sweet but unconrollable little brother. I don't know his official diagnosis but along with Down Syndrome, he's being treated for depression, anxiety, seizures and anti social behaviors. Pinching and such. Its kind of hard to explain but he'll get up, throw things, wander around, finding more flat surfaces with stuff on it and throw those things too. I have no better way to describe it except as some kind of fit or tantrum. You can't legally give him a timeout because he doesn't have the cognitive level to 'get' why he's in the wrong.
But we've had some good times while he's been home. Its been lovely to see his smile, to be with him when he's not pinching or striking out. To see him calm and happy. Its a blessing.
He is in a new group home tonight. Its in Green Bay and just a few blocks fro the day program my sister goes to (which is probably where he will end up.) My mom and aunt took him to the new place. I stayed home with my sister. Its complicated to explain but basically we're all emotional over this and I wanted to keep a clear head. In a few days I think I will let it sink in.
It is harder for my mom. I think its hard for all mothers. My sister is more 'mine' and yet she's 'easier' and I had backup. John was always hard but we had hope.
We're grieving the potential but there is more a sense of relief. We were going absolutly nuts. Constantly agitated. That will change now.
Love you John. always.
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