The "Downs" of "Downs"

Its 9pm and past John's bedtime. He's fighting sleep and I just do not know why. I've tried putting him in bed when he first got sleepy. Usually after his 6:30pm med dose, he's tired by 7 and sleeping so soundly I can't move him by 7:30pm. But not this night.

Take 1. Bathroom then bed. Lasts five minutes before he's wide awake and back in the living room.

Wait until he starts to doze on the couch again.

Take 2. Straight to bed. Lasts 2 minutes, he fights past me through the door and into the living room.

Ok new tactic. Back to bed. Only he struggles, scratching, pinching and finally sitting down on the floor in the hallway. I'm half heartbroken and half plain old angry.

Why? No antibiotics this time. Just John. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. He's not sick. We had an uneventful night. No logical reasoning and of course he can't talk to me and tell me why.

Take 3. He gets up and I stand in front of him, telling him calmly its time for bed. He has to get up for school tomorrow. He pushes but I don't budge. Standoff. He's getting tired enough that I can take him back to bed. He lays down. I pull the sheet over him. I stand in his room. Each time he tries to get up, I say no, its bedtime. This just wakes him up more. I give up and take him to the bathroom. He doesn't have to go. I bring him back out to the softa in the living room.

Take 4. I get one of his 'PRN' (as needed for those who don't know) meds. It dissolves quickly in his mouth so I give that to him along with a little water. I wait. And wait. He dozes but as soon as I get up to move him to go to bed, he's wide awake and fighting me.

Take 5. He's fallen asleep. So deeply that it takes my mom and I carrying him to his bed to get him into bed. Literally, mom had his arms, I had his legs. We both have bad backs to begin with. Finally he's in bed.

6am comes and he wanders out of his bedroom naked, the smell of urine following him. I'm in bed down the hall and I smell and hear it and I groan. He walks through the house to mom's room. She's already awake and puts him on the toilet and checks out his room. Sure enough, his bed is soaked. The 'chucks' (cotton absorbent pads laid down on top of the sheet) are soaked too. Time for laundry. Plus a sponge bath for John since he has to go to day program.

This doesn't happen every night. It didn't happen at all when he first came home from the hospital. Then the antibiotics. Then those pills were done and now nightly we have to find that 'sweet spot' between him getting sleepy and falling deeply asleep.

I have scratches and bruises on my arms. I can't explain to people who do not have an adult child like this why this is happening. I don't know. Is he partly autistic? Is there some other diagnosis? Does it matter? He's medicated for all kinds of behavioral problems. Its just so tiring. Is this what having him 'home' is going to be like? There's a point where the stress breaks you. I don't want to get to that point.