My brother has been 'assessed' a few times for placement. Of course its not 'pass/fail' but because we have a twisted sense of humor, my family tend to get pretty good at reading people and when they react to John a certain way, we're pretty sure he 'failed'.
He is challenging to say the least. What he needs is a somewhat firm direction and correction combined with some calming tones. But he reacts very much like a 'kid' - the nicer you are, the more he'll take advantage and since that 'advantage' often involves pinching, you tend to have to be fairly firm more often than not.
It is tiring being a disciplinarian though. Its not a role I enjoy playing every day. One of the many reasons I want my brother to be placed in a new home. Then I'd get to go back to what I really enjoy - being a sister.
The downside is that finding a new placement is difficult, kind of like finding a new job. Plus, finding the 'right' one isn't going to happen quickly and he needs to be placed sooner than later for our sanity. So we'll 'hop' a bit, while we try to find the best fit. It won't and cannot be perfect.
However, when you first go through the assessment process and then look at the house possibilities, the theories of what you want to happen clash harshly with the realities. An old house, a questionable neighborhood, people you don't know who will soon have to be taking care of your loved one - there's no simple way to deal with that shock. Even when you prepare yourself for it.
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